The crisis of 5 years in a child: what should parents do?


Psychologists call the age of 5 a crisis age. A calm and obedient baby suddenly becomes moody and hysterical, begins to rebel, refuses to obey adults. During this period, both the child and his parents face difficulties. Our tips will help you deal with them.  

The content of the article:

    Why is there a crisis at the age of 5
    What is the manifestation of the crisis of 5 years
    How long does the crisis last for 5 years
    How to react to the whims of a child
    What not to do

Why does a crisis occur at the age of 5 in children

Why does a crisis occur at the age of 5 in children

By the age of five, the baby begins to feel old enough and he wants to get more independence. This desire creates a crisis. He carefully observes adults and tries to copy their behavior, manner of speech, etc. He wants to have the rights and opportunities that parents and older family members have.

Read also: what a child should be able and know at the age of 5

But due to his age, he cannot receive them. The conflict between desires and real possibilities causes frustration, aggression and other negative reactions.

The child does not yet know how to control and properly express his emotions. Therefore, he often has breakdowns and tantrums. You should not scold and punish him too much for such behavior. Remember that the kid is not doing this to spite you, but because he does not know how to do otherwise yet. As he gets older, he will learn to restrain his emotional impulses. In the meantime, be patient.

By this age, the child has the ability to form his own opinion about the world, about people around him and about himself. He is faced with things that he is not yet able to understand. He also does not always understand himself, his thoughts and emotions and cannot express them correctly. This leads to moods, irritability, or isolation.

A preschooler actively develops imagination and imagination, he wants to explore the world and get new impressions. The inability to realize all his desires negatively affects his behavior. The child becomes stubborn, argues with adults, refuses to obey.

The crisis of five years may arise completely unexpectedly. Its intensity and duration depend on the individual mental characteristics of the child. For some, it lasts no more than a couple of months, while for others it can last for a year. In some babies, it proceeds almost imperceptibly.
What is the manifestation of the crisis of 5 years

What is the manifestation of the crisis of 5 years in a child

The crisis can be recognized by the following signs:

    Aggression. The child becomes short-tempered, starts snapping, swearing with parents, grandmothers, grandfathers. He can rudely push his family away when they hug him, try to caress him.
    Whims and tantrums. The kid is often moody and throws tantrums over nothing. Any unpleasant event can make him lose his temper.
    Antics, clowning. The child begins to make faces, mimic adults, make faces when he is scolded or shamed.
    Disobedience. This is one of the most striking symptoms of the crisis. The kid refuses to comply with the requirements, argues, protests against what he does not like.
    Comparing yourself with your peers. As a child grows up, he compares himself more and more with other children. Often, the virtues of other boys or girls cause him self-doubt. He can ask his parents and friends if he looks good, if his clothes are beautiful, etc
. The desire for loneliness, isolation. The preschooler becomes more closed, he has his own secrets, which he is in no hurry to share with his parents. He can lock himself in his room and play alone for a long time, arrange "secret places" for hiding in the house.
    Fears. The child has fears and worries that did not exist before. For example, he may become afraid of the dark or monsters under the bed. These fears can take hold of the baby so much that he will be afraid to sleep alone in the room. To the fears of a mystical nature are added worries about bad things that can happen in life – illness, death of loved ones, etc
. Increased curiosity. The child begins to follow adults, spies on them and eavesdrops on conversations, rummages through the parents' belongings. He is interested in everything that is happening around him, especially what is being hidden from him.
    A stormy fantasy. The child constantly invents and tells all sorts of tall tales, passing them off as true stories. His imagination and imagination are actively developing, and he does not always see the line between fiction and reality.
    Discontent. The child does not like the clothes, toys, treats that are bought for him. He criticizes things, people around him, and even himself.
    The desire to do the opposite. The child contradicts adults and tries to do everything in spite of them, even if it harms him.           

The crisis of five years causes trouble not only for parents, but also for the child himself. He cannot control his emotions and does not always understand his feelings and desires. During this age period, serious physiological changes occur in his body. The psyche is also changing. Be patient with the baby and help him get through the crisis period.
How long does the crisis last for 5 years

What is the manifestation of the crisis of 5 years

There is no clear time interval that takes a crisis of five years. It occurs individually for each child. As a rule, the transition period lasts from one to two months to a year. It does not start strictly at the age of five. It may happen a little earlier or later. The severity of the crisis is also different for everyone. Some children become a little more moody than before, while others change beyond recognition.

During this period, the authority of the parents decreases somewhat. The child no longer wants to obey their demands, strives for independence, tries to defend his opinion. It is a natural process of growing up, which manifests itself in this way.

There are cases when the age of five passes without any changes, but later, closer to the age of six, problems begin anyway. Therefore, do not worry if your son or daughter has a crisis. This period must be passed in any case. And to make it less difficult and painful, listen to the advice of psychologists.
How to react to the whims of a child

How to react to the whims of a child

During the crisis period, children become very active and restless. Their curiosity and thirst for knowledge are increasing. This physical and mental energy can be directed to development.

    Try to load the child physically. Let him walk more, run, ride a bike, do physical education. You can send him to the sports section, dancing or swimming. Physical activity will take away excess energy and reduce tantrums.
    React to whims calmly. If you follow the child's lead, yielding to tears and screams, he will begin to manipulate you. If you feel that you are about to snap and yell at the baby, leave the room for a while. Give yourself and him a chance to calm down.
    Do not delay the punishment. Children quickly forget about their misdeeds, so deferred punishments will not have the desired effect. If a child has been naughty, it is not necessary to punish him by banning him from going to his grandmother's for the weekend. He'll forget about what happened until the weekend. Come up with a punishment that can be implemented immediately, for example, ban watching TV until tomorrow.
    Set the boundaries of what is allowed and explain to the child what can and cannot be done and why. He must clearly know the rules adopted in the family. Try not to violate these rules yourself, otherwise the educational process will not be effective. 
    Spend more time with your baby, play with him more often. During this difficult period, he especially needs your attention.
    Assign the child some household chores that he should perform regularly. This can be watering flowers, feeding the cat, cleaning the nursery. Be sure to tell the baby that he is already big and you can rely on him as an adult.  
    Ask your child for help in various matters (to help carry a bag of groceries from the store, set the table, wash vegetables). Be sure to thank him for his help, even if it is insignificant. This will increase the baby's self-esteem and self-confidence.
    Develop your child's talents and abilities. If he likes to draw, sing or play football, create the necessary conditions for this. Praise for successes and achievements, support when something does not work out.

Do not attach much importance to the whims and disobedience of the baby. Remember that this is a temporary phenomenon that will end soon.
What not to do
What not to do when a child has a crisis of 5 years                             

In times of crisis, children are particularly vulnerable. Be patient and do not scold your son or daughter for whims, antics, bad behavior. Remember that the child does not set goals to make you lose your temper. He just can't control his emotions. In order not to harm the baby's psyche during this difficult period, do not do the following:

    Do not criticize or scold the baby in public. Discuss his bad behavior one-on-one, without the presence of outsiders.
    Don't explode in response to a tantrum. Even if everything is boiling inside, try to keep a straight face. This will confuse the baby and reduce the intensity of emotions.
    Avoid being rude to the child. Tell him more often that you love him, hug and kiss him.
    In any case, do not hit the baby. Physical assault is an absolutely non–pedagogical technique, and especially in times of crisis. If the child is guilty, come up with a more humane punishment.
    Never punish a child by limiting his physiological needs for food, sleep, etc. These methods are unacceptable. But you can deprive him of sweets, forbid him to play on his phone or watch cartoons.

Do not ignore the baby. If he wants to tell you something or show you something, take a break from business and pay attention to him. If you are very busy, ask them to wait until you are free. Do not dismiss the child, answer all his questions, even if they seem stupid to you or he repeats them repeatedly.
Do not condone the aggression of the baby, but immediately stop it. Don't let him hit, pinch, or push anyone. He must understand that even in a fit of emotion, you can not give free rein to your hands.
Do not say phrases to your son or daughter; "You can't do anything", "You're dumb / dumb", "Don't get in the way", "Don't bother me", etc. Treat the desires and needs of the baby with respect.

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